Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Overwhelmed and need to vent....

Sorry going to be a boring post but so much in my head right now that I just need to get it out and on "paper."

I know I said I didn't want to complain about my pregnancy because I am just so thankful but today, today I am venting.  Its just the mood I am in (I'm blaming our many days of dark, rainy weather!).  I have reached the point of complete lack of energy.  I literally dried and styled my hair this morning and now feel like I can't move.  Really?  Its SO frustrating!!  I am riddled with guilt of feeling lazy but I just don't have anything in me.  I have been sleeping great until about 2-3 days ago.  I try to get myself tired but still end up laying there forever before I finally fall asleep.  Then I also feel like I see every hour pass through out the night tossing.  This of course does not help with my lack of energy.  Sigh.

So back early last summer we started searching for a house.  It started out a pleasant experience.  We were in no hurry and I just love looking at houses.  We didn't have a deadline and could just take our time and find the best deal out there for us.  So late November we finally find THE house and we've been at a standstill ever since.  I hate short sales.  We were trying to avoid them but if you want a deal short sales and foreclosures are the way to go.
When we started looking around I was not pregnant and the school year was months away.  Now I am almost 30 weeks (leaving us NINE WEEKS!!) pregnant and the deadline to get in the kindergarten lottery in days away.  Brynn is the one I worry about most when it comes to school and I want so badly to get a certain teacher that does the morning kindergarten and in the class with her bestie so the transition to school and a new home can be as smooth as possible.  But now with the registration deadlines days away and the need for 3 forms of proof of residency in order to register its looking less and less like it will be possible.  It just makes me so frustrated and worried for my baby girl.  And not to mention we were hoping to have this move behind us before I got too much bigger and definitely BEFORE baby girl arrives and both of these are looking less and less possible as well.  Sigh.

Another issue is I feel like our current home is suffocating me.  I am NOT good at deep cleaning our home but I enjoy having an organized/picked up home and try to get to the deep cleaning when I can.  Obviously, even staying on top of pick up these days has been a challenge for me but my house is shot as far as organization goes.  Summer deals are out so I've gotten them some summer clothes, I've taken their spring coats out but still need their winter coats most days, I'd like to put away winter boots and snow pants, it looks like a shoe store exploded in our garage, etc.  Every closet and hidden space in our home is jammed packed with stuff.  I've considered several times tackling our game/toy closet and reorganizing but then my lack of energy mixed with the possibility of moving and packing up soon anyway wins out and I don't do anything.  Part of me keeps hoping we'll be moving and packing things up soon so I can have the excuse to get us reorganized and purge this house but then yesterday I got to thinking about packing up everything to move and started to panic.  Its a vicious cycle.  In which I conclude with doing nothing and things just continue to pile up.  Again, sigh.

Then there is making decisions about my priorities for next year about where to serve and not serve.  What day to pick for our c-section and which doctor we'd prefer for that, then there was having a goal from the Hearts at Home conference and failing miserably yesterday with that, the fact that it has rained about every day for the last 3 weeks and spring just wont arrive and STAY, that potty training went FABULOUS for a week without me really doing anything and then having accident after accident the last two days.  Also the hubs has been traveling like crazy, trying to fit his trips in before Blakely arrives, and won't be home till the kids are in bed tonight.  I feel enormous.  I hate my hair right now.... Sigh.

One positive is last night we booked a trip for his mom to come in town and just help, for TWO WHOLE WEEKS.  May 14th can't come soon enough.

Okay that was a very negative, complain filled post and I apologize.  But its my blog and I can vent if I want to. :)  Deep breath.  I feel better getting that off my chest and will continue to bring my worries to the Lord through prayer.  Looking forward to see how He gets me/us through these next couple of months.
Thanks for putting up with my rant!
I promise much more positive, fun, picture filled posts from now on. ;)

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    I used to be an elementary teacher but am now a stay-at-home mommy with three sweet baby girls. Bella is 6, Brynn is 4, and Brooklyn is 1. We also have a sweet Golden Retriever named Beckham. I have been married to the love of my life, Vincent, for almost 12 years. Although I hate the cold I am a Chicago girl through and through. And thats about all I've got!

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