Unfailing Love: Overwhelmed and need to vent....

Vincent Gerard

This is my hubby. Also known as Vinny, Dowey, Dowebally, and (as of last night) Pickle Juice. (You may learn that I have an affinity for nicknames, comes from my daddy!) Unbelievably, the hubs and I have been married for 9 years! I can't believe it! Seems like just yesterday I was a freshman in college and my friend introduced me to this hunky senior with a hot red car! Vince is working hard to support our family and traveling here and there. Vince is a WONDERFUL father and his girls (all of us) are the most important things to him!

Barclay Kathryn

What to say? I'm Barclay, usually known as Barclay (not much you can do with Barclay). I was an elementary teacher for fours years until I had Bella. Now I am doing the job I have wanted to do ALL of my life, being a mom. I love these two girls more than I can possibly express and it is my joy and privilege to be able to spend each day with them. I recently entered the blog frontier, and although my blog followers will probably be able to be counted on one hand, I thought it would be exciting to be a part of something so neat. I love that there are many other moms out there facing the same joys, hardships, questions, surprises, and challenges that I am. I also hope to be a sort of medium to spread awareness for others that need prayers, help, or just someone to walk through life with!

Isabella Kathryn

Usually referred to as Bella. As well as Bells, Bellie, Belly Boo, Bellsie Bubs, Bubs, Bubba, Bells and Whistles.... Bella is our first born daughter. She is 6. Bella enjoys school, reading, riding her training-wheel free bike, she could color and write for hours, she loves singing to the Momma Mia soundtrack, anything princess or pink, having bows in her hair, playing dress up, and her little sisters! God blessed us with Bella a month early but she was perfectly healthy. In six years she has become such a bright, outgoing, sensitive, and fearless little girl. Bella really is the sweetest girl you will ever meet. She is eager to please. If she hurts or disappoints someone it literally crushes her to tears. This last year she asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior and we could not be more proud!! Love this sweet, blonde, blue eyed beauty!

Bryanna Karina

Usually known as Brynn. As well as Brynnie, Miley, Miley Moo, Geegs, Geegers, Brynnie Boo, and many more. Ten days before Bella turned 2 years old we were blessed with another beautiful, healthy girl by planned c-section. This time I was able to see my baby right after birth, watch her get weighed, bathed, etc. I couldn't wait for Bella to meet her. Brynn is now 4 and keeps me laughing all day long. Brynn, since she was about 2 months old has been the smiliest baby I have ever met. All you need to do is look at her and she will flash you a world class smile. Brynn is smiley, more shy and reserved about things than her big sis, can be quite the clown when she feels safe or gets in a silly mood, amazingly brilliant, she's been speaking full sentences since she was 19 months and continues to amaze us with what comes out of her mouth. She loves doing whatever her big sister is doing, dressing up, looking at books, her blankie, being held, twirling in her dresses, singing, and dancing whenever she hears music! Brynn is my compassionate baby, she hates to see people hurting. We just love this sweet, shy, snuggly, smiling little girl!

Brooklyn Blythe

Also known as Brookie, Brookie Cookie, Cookie Lu, Lulu B just to name a few. Sweet, sweet Brooklyn is our family's latest addition! We welcomed Brookie into our family on August 23rd 2010 at 12:23pm by planned c-section. I was nervous she would be a bit high maintenance since she came out screaming bloody murder and continued to wail anytime anyone touched her- get her footprints, take her temperature, etc. Amazingly, she would instantly stop the moment the Hubs touched her or began talking to her. And since her birthday, we have barely heard a peep out of her..... And fast forward 18 months, she definitely makes plenty of peeps now! :) We are full blown in the the terrible twos (which IMO last from 18-36 months) I believe. To make matters worse she's also cutting her 4 molars. She definitely knows what she wants but can't quite articulate it, so gets frustrated. Eating is also a hit or miss these days which is very foreign to me. Mixed with the crabby days though is the funniest personality ever. She is a riot! She LOVES chasing after her big sisters or having them chase and imitate her. She also has this adorable chubby face and will peek out of the corner of her eyes and just melt your heart! She is definitely shy at first but if you can get through to her she will keep you in stitches with her antics. We love you little BB and couldn't ask for a sweeter addition to our family!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Overwhelmed and need to vent....

Sorry going to be a boring post but so much in my head right now that I just need to get it out and on "paper."

I know I said I didn't want to complain about my pregnancy because I am just so thankful but today, today I am venting. Its just the mood I am in (I'm blaming our many days of dark, rainy weather!). I have reached the point of complete lack of energy. I literally dried and styled my hair this morning and now feel like I can't move. Really? Its SO frustrating!! I am riddled with guilt of feeling lazy but I just don't have anything in me. I have been sleeping great until about 2-3 days ago. I try to get myself tired but still end up laying there forever before I finally fall asleep. Then I also feel like I see every hour pass through out the night tossing. This of course does not help with my lack of energy. Sigh.

So back early last summer we started searching for a house. It started out a pleasant experience. We were in no hurry and I just love looking at houses. We didn't have a deadline and could just take our time and find the best deal out there for us. So late November we finally find THE house and we've been at a standstill ever since. I hate short sales. We were trying to avoid them but if you want a deal short sales and foreclosures are the way to go.

When we started looking around I was not pregnant and the school year was months away. Now I am almost 30 weeks (leaving us NINE WEEKS!!) pregnant and the deadline to get in the kindergarten lottery in days away. Brynn is the one I worry about most when it comes to school and I want so badly to get a certain teacher that does the morning kindergarten and in the class with her bestie so the transition to school and a new home can be as smooth as possible. But now with the registration deadlines days away and the need for 3 forms of proof of residency in order to register its looking less and less like it will be possible. It just makes me so frustrated and worried for my baby girl. And not to mention we were hoping to have this move behind us before I got too much bigger and definitely BEFORE baby girl arrives and both of these are looking less and less possible as well. Sigh.

Another issue is I feel like our current home is suffocating me. I am NOT good at deep cleaning our home but I enjoy having an organized/picked up home and try to get to the deep cleaning when I can. Obviously, even staying on top of pick up these days has been a challenge for me but my house is shot as far as organization goes. Summer deals are out so I've gotten them some summer clothes, I've taken their spring coats out but still need their winter coats most days, I'd like to put away winter boots and snow pants, it looks like a shoe store exploded in our garage, etc. Every closet and hidden space in our home is jammed packed with stuff. I've considered several times tackling our game/toy closet and reorganizing but then my lack of energy mixed with the possibility of moving and packing up soon anyway wins out and I don't do anything. Part of me keeps hoping we'll be moving and packing things up soon so I can have the excuse to get us reorganized and purge this house but then yesterday I got to thinking about packing up everything to move and started to panic. Its a vicious cycle. In which I conclude with doing nothing and things just continue to pile up. Again, sigh.

Then there is making decisions about my priorities for next year about where to serve and not serve. What day to pick for our c-section and which doctor we'd prefer for that, then there was having a goal from the Hearts at Home conference and failing miserably yesterday with that, the fact that it has rained about every day for the last 3 weeks and spring just wont arrive and STAY, that potty training went FABULOUS for a week without me really doing anything and then having accident after accident the last two days. Also the hubs has been traveling like crazy, trying to fit his trips in before Blakely arrives, and won't be home till the kids are in bed tonight. I feel enormous. I hate my hair right now.... Sigh.

One positive is last night we booked a trip for his mom to come in town and just help, for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. May 14th can't come soon enough.

Okay that was a very negative, complain filled post and I apologize. But its my blog and I can vent if I want to. :) Deep breath. I feel better getting that off my chest and will continue to bring my worries to the Lord through prayer. Looking forward to see how He gets me/us through these next couple of months.

Thanks for putting up with my rant!

I promise much more positive, fun, picture filled posts from now on. ;)