Bella's Dramatic Evening......

-Typed last night-

Phew.

So this week the two big girls are in VBS from 9-12 every morning.

I was really looking forward to a calm, easy week.

Well this afternoon shattered that dream.

With all my extra time I got dinner, lasagna, done nice and early this afternoon. So I thought while it cooked I would take the kiddos to the park to play.

I got the babies in the bike trailer and Bells was ready on her two-wheeler. While I turned to close the garage, all of a sudden I heard Bella start to cry. I looked and she had fallen off her bike (I definitely think the Lord shielded me from actually seeing it happen). I ran to her, more to just make sure she got back up on the bike since it had taken a bit of persuading to get her to ride in the first place. But when I got there I saw it was much more serious than I thought. There was blood gushing from her mouth. :( I quickly rushed her in to the bathroom, leaving the poor babies in the trailer (at least they were buckled in!). After further inspection it looked like there was actually teeth damage but I couldn't tell for sure because there was literally a blanket of blood all over everything in her mouth, so I quickly called the hubs in a panic (and by the way, went and grabbed the babies), he suggested I meet him at the ER. Since I didn't see any other damage other than teeth I just decided to call the dentist, who funny enough we met for the first time last week. I called them about 4:45 and they were closing at 5 but said they'd stick around for us. So I turned the oven off on my lasagna, threw all 3 kiddos in the car, and rushed over there.

This is Bella before we walked in, only about 15 minutes after the fall.

They were all so gracious and loving to us. The dentist came right out the waiting room to take a look at her. One of the nurses sweetly wiped Bella down with a wet rag since I literally had not had time and her face, shirt, skirt, and even her legs had blood on them. After taking a look he decided he wanted us to see a Pediatric dentist. They quickly called to make sure someone would still be there and told them we were coming.

Thankfully it was literally across the street. We were the only ones there and everyone there was ready for us. I of course had to fill out paperwork but thankfully the hubs had arrived by now. The hubs and Bella went back while I stayed with the littles and filled out papers.

In the stillness I could feel the beginning of emotions starting to bubble up, I just wanted to be with Bella, and literally before the tears fell little Miss Brynn started singing from the corner she was playing in, "Jesus is my best friend, my best friend. He is always here....." Not sure where she learned or heard it but it instantly brought me comfort and calmed my fears.

I literally felt like God was saying, "Don't worry. I am here."

So anyway, I finished the papers and quickly gathered the littles (who were, by God's grace being amazing even though it was dinner time) to go back to Bella. They had just finished up on x-rays. And Bella was doing AMAZING. So brave. I noticed daddy wasn't looking to hot though. He was pale and very sweaty. Due to horrible teeth drama as a kid, he was feeling like he was about to pass out! Its hard to see your baby so banged up too.

Anyway, what it all comes down to is her 4 front top teeth were the ones hit. One of the center ones and the one next to it were perfect, as well as her adult teeth. The other center is just a tad loose. However the one next to that will probably have to be pulled. :(

We're going to give it a couple of days to see if it comes out naturally, otherwise we'll go back in to get it taken care of.

We just told her she gets to get a visit from the Tooth Fairy a little sooner than most! :)

She was doing great tonight. She wasn't up to eating so daddy made her a smoothly. The biggest prayer is that we are able to keep it very clean to prevent infection. We'll go back Thursday to give it a look again.

She has scrapes from her forehead to her chin, a giant fat lip, and her lip is all black and blue on the inside but she's smiling again!

We were home by 5:45, finished cooking my lasagna and amazingly continued our evening as planned. God could not have made a hard incident go more smoothly. Everyone was so gracious, sweet and took such good care of our baby!

-Continued today-

The hubs said our bathroom looked like a crime scene. Not sure how we got blood on the wall and mirror!
Wow, first time for Bella wearing this shirt, hope its not ruined, but just glad she's ok!
When I first got a peak in her mouth all I saw was the one really far down so I thought she had chipped the other 3!! So thankful that she might just lose the one that's hanging.
Her lip is SO swollen and bruised on the inside. You can see how out of sorts her teeth got. :(
But on the mend already! At lunch today she finally got some food in her belly. We go back tomorrow to see Dr. Dave and see about that wiggly tooth! :)

Magical.....

So for the girls' first day night of swim lessons it was 90 degrees which was perfect.

(they have it at 8 o'clock at night)

At their second lesson it was 60 degrees. Yikes!

Our weather just can't seem to make up its mind.

Of course they didn't care and the pool was heated.

After class I was discussing with them how they must have been freezing,

Brynn says,

"My teacher said the waters magical, thats why its warm."

So Bella pipes up,

"No its not, only God is magical."

Yup, baby girl, only God is magical.

:)

Holding on tight!

I haven't gone through anywhere near as much as he has but I often feel just like this. : )

Thank you.

Thank you thank you for all that commented or contacted me about my worry post. I even received a couple things from people I wanted to share today real quick. How awesome to have this forum where we can share, cry, laugh, surprise, and learn from one another!

This is from my friend Leah, she happened to be reading that day. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the part about how God's No's are stepping stones to His amazing yes'. Please read:

* Lynn Cowell

"The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, 'Follow me.'" John 1:43 (NIV)

Illuminating a small circle just in front of our feet, the flashlight provided safety and direction for only our next step as Rose and I took our pre-sunrise walk. Anxiety eventually gave way to comfort as we discussed the day ahead. We knew the light would lead us in the right direction. We just had to take the next step...

Taking the next step is something Jesus recommended a very long time ago. "Come and you will see." "Follow me." These were the words Jesus spoke to the disciples as He called them. He didn't sit them down and reveal what the next three years would hold. He knew they would be overwhelmed; possibly even turn around . He chose to keep it simple. "Follow me" was all He said. Take the next step...

As a teen, I wanted to know my future. Will all my dreams come true? What college will I attend? Will I work in a church; marry a pastor? Will I live in Iowa near my family?Jesus knew the answers to those questions all along. I didn't go to college. I don't work in a church, nor did I marry a pastor. He knew. In wisdom, He chose to reveal only enough light for me to take the next step.

Sometimes, I catch myself wishing again that I could see my future. I get wrapped up in fear or worry. Career worries: Will I still have this job in five or ten years? Mom worries:Will my children marry spouses passionate about Jesus? Marriage worries: Will my husband and I enjoy a long retirement together? I can spin around issues that really don't have anything to do with this day, with my next step.

Jesus knows. He knows which answers are "yes" and which ones are "no." He knows when and where to reveal to me my next step. My part is simply to take the next step in obedience.

When I was younger, I did not understand those times when He said "no" were stepping stones to His amazing "yes." I learned in the dark that when I step forward in trust and obedience, blessing is down the path. I also had to learn that even those pathways that held pain where part of the process. They were stepping stones in my journey of choosing obedience over worry, fear and control.

Now, when fear and doubt surface in the dark I silence the "what ifs." I remember Jesus' words, "Follow me," and get back on the path that is flickering just ahead-and simply take the next step...a step of trust. I ask Him what I need to do for just today. I walk away from worry by expressing my concerns to Jesus and trust His ability to take care of each and every step.

Dear Lord, the dark can be frightening. Jesus, sometimes my ability to trust seems s o much smaller than the step I need to take. Help me to build a history with You. A history of seeing You will help me trust You over and over and over again. I want that. I put my trust in You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

*My blog friend, Kelly, also shared that this is one of her favorite verses when she is feeling fearful: God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

* And, last but not least, this was my devotional last night. Anytime during a time of suffering or hardship I will be saying this verse to myself over and over and over. Just so perfect. No one can convince me that God doesn't speak to you. :)

December 15

Rejoicing in Suffering?

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3, 4).

Scripture: Romans 5:1-5

Song: "The Joy of the Lord"

When my husband died suddenly, I was so devastated that I thought my own life was over. However, at that time the Lord began to work powerfully in my life, teaching me to persevere in my loneliness, molding my character, assuring me of the hope of eternal life.

As I went through that challenging time, the things on earth lost much of their value as my eyes focused more on spiritual things. My hope in Christ became clearer and dearer to me. God showed me that adversity is part of life, that it is temporary, and that He wants me to focus on Him instead of becoming entangled in fears and worries.

The apostle Paul reminds us that the early Christians suffered much. Even though they were persecuted for their faith, they rejoiced amidst their tribulations because they had set their eyes on the hope of eternal life. Even in times of trial, God showers us with unconditional love as He draws us closer to Him, imprinting eternal values on our hearts. That is our hope, and in that we can rejoice.

O God, creator of Heaven and earth, thank You for the joys and the challenges You bring into my life. Please help me to persevere in times of trouble, knowing that Your love is sufficient. Give me more perseverance, more Christlike character, and an ever-deepening hope. I pray this prayer in the name of Jesus, my merciful Savior and Lord. Amen.

The Post that was not my idea......

So I need to take a break from my light and fluffy posts for something deeper. Not sure why, but I've felt led to write about it. Its not something I particularly want to share about but when I feel God nudging me, I'm inclined to listen. : )

Perhaps, hearing my struggle will help someone out there struggling with something similar. Or perhaps He wants me to come clean about my short comings. Or perhaps He just wanted to give me some good material for a blog post. : )

Here goes...

I'm a worrier. When I was younger I worried about everything. Everything. Being a people pleaser also, it usually revolved around issues with friends. Or school. Or a boyfriend. Or whatever. You name it, I could worry about it. I remember something my dad would always tell me. He said 99% of the time the things we worry about don't happen or aren't as bad as we imagine. He was right, 100% of the time. : ) I always imagined much worse than the way things would turn out.

As I've gotten older my worries have become even more intense. Now I have a husband to worry about. Three daughters to worry about. Parents and siblings. Cancer in my friend's parents seem to be on the rise and it has me worrying each time one of my parents call. I see people going through such hard things, especially since entering the blog world. My eyes have been open to so many families going through unimaginable things. And I find myself worrying that something like that is going to happen to me, my husband, one of my kids. I have been SO, SO blessed. I have great parents and in-laws, a fortunate up bringing, great friends, 3 beautiful girls, a husband that loves and takes care of me.

All these great things, and I find myself worrying about when its all going to fall apart.

I know everyone goes through hardships in their life. And although my life has in no way been a breeze, comparatively, it has. I have this great, great life. And instead of enjoying and being thankful for it, I find myself wondering how long it will last?

Now I could be, and sometimes am, paralyzed by this fear. I could constantly worry about everything and never do anything or let me children go anywhere. But what kind of life would that be?

My only saving grace? Trusting in the Lord's Unfailing Love (hence the name of this blog : ) ). The only thing that keeps me from sinking into the pits of worry is I know that the Lord has great plans for me.

Do I worry about vaccines? Yes, but my husband and I are going to do what we think is right and trust that the doctors have in mind what's best for our children's health and trust God with the rest. Do I worry about something happening to one of the girls? Absolutely, but I will not succumb to that fear or I wouldn't truly be enjoying the time I do have with them. Do I worry about not having enough money to pay our bills? Everyday. But since I've put my trust in the Lord there has never been a day in which He didn't provide.

What comes from worrying? Nothing. Except being miserable and missing out on all the good in your life. Worrying about it doesn't make it better, not happen, or improve. So just let go.

This may surprise some of my friends to hear about me. I think I come off as a very easy going, go with the flow, come what may type of mom. And honestly, I try. I try very hard. And again, its only by God's grace that I'm able to.

Every now and then new things arise, like the horror of all things BPA, and I find myself panicking. But the Lord Almighty reels me in, I take a deep breath, and let it go. Along with my worrying flaw is my lovely nature of being control freak. And since there is no possible way for me to control all, my worry sets in. But listen friends. Let go, let Jesus take the wheel. We could worry till the cows come home (I know that makes no sense : ) ) and its not going to change a thing. Come what may. And if something does come, we have the King of the Universe by our side to see us through it.

I leave you with this verse that I meditate on when the worry threatens to sink me.

Joshua 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

He intends only good for us. Unfortunately, sin has entered the world but even with hurt and evil He has promised to be with us always and never give us more than we can handle. (the worrier in me of course worries about how much can I handle then, or does He think I can't handle a lot and that's why things have been good, but then I'm ok with that, but then maybe Satan will try to attack my comfort.... I'll told you I'm crazy. Only God can reel in my crazy. : ) )

And in case, the imaginable does happen, we have these, and many, many more words from God himself to cling to:

The verse from John 9, where the disciples have just asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus’ reply: “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (9:3)

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8

And my blog's theme verse:

But I trust in your Unfailing Love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise, for He has been good to me!

Sorry way longer than I intended! And since I can't post without a picture, I leave you with my 3 cuties, who I love with all my heart and I put in God's hands!

M.I.A.

Sorry I have been M.I.A. Unfortunately our family is grieving right now.

So last week I scheduled all of my posts to publish ahead of time. I had them all done the previous Friday and just scheduled one each day. I originally had done it because my mom was in town and I hate to disappoint my readers by missing a day. : ) Well little did I know what my week held.

So my mom was arriving last Monday and the Saturday before I took a pregnancy test.

Yea! It was positive. We were super excited to be expecting and that it happened so quickly. I think what I was most excited about was that I could actually enjoy the beginning excitement with my mom, in person. You see she lives in Colorado and with my past pregnancies it has been a long distance celebration but at least with this pregnancy, almost, our first couple of weeks would be in person. After picking her up from the airport on Monday I was getting the kids into their jammies. While my mom was downstairs I put "Big Sister" shirts I had gotten the girls and told them to go down and show my mom. We also told Bella to tell my mom that I had a baby in my tummy. It was actually pretty funny because my mom totally didn't get it. Bella told her and she kind of laughed and was like "oh not right now honey but some day." So the hubs and I were like no, right now! Finally the celebration could commence! : )

Sadly my story does not end there. To put it bluntly, I started spotting Wednesday and Thursday, after getting blood work done, it was confirmed I had miscarried. I have very mixed up feelings right now. I'm definitely grieving over the loss but then I'm feeling a little silly about being so sad since, although 4 weeks a long, I only knew I was pregnant for not even a week. I am very impulsive. And as soon as I knew I was expecting I guess my imagination got the best of me. I thought it was so weird the hubs wanted to wait to tell people since we never had before, but obviously his intuition was correct.

I'm also super grateful. So thankful, even though it made it even more disappointing, that my mom was here to go through it with me. Just being with me during the last couple of days was so nice. I'm grateful that if I had to lose a baby that it was earlier than later. I'm thankful that it all happened naturally and no medical intervention was needed. I thankful the Lord took the baby home if something was wrong so he/she could be healthy in heaven.

I'm not sure how people get through hard times without a heavenly father to rely on. Although we live in a sinful world and horrible things happen I'm glad I have hope in my heart that the Lord has a plan for our family. A plan much better and more exciting than we can imagine. So I will hold to that hope that something different is in store for us. I look forward to it unfolding. Satan tries to bring us down but he will only make me stand firmer in my beliefs.

So a mix of emotions. That is where I am right now. I feel a bit melancholy, especially now that mom has returned home, but I doing ok. Every time Brynn flashes me her world class smile I feel thankful. Every time Bella says something sweet it warms my soul. I couldn't help but be happy and thankful for my girls as they both asked to go to sleep in tutus the other night. They're helping me through, and the Hubs is smothering (in a good way) with love and tenderness. If anything this experience has given me a renewed sense of gratitude for my beautiful girls and wonderful husband. The hubs and I feel confident we are meant to have more children and will keep pursuing that dream, just perhaps a little more cautiously now.

When I started this blog I was apprehensive. I had this fear that something bad would happen because it seemed most people that blogged either had had something bad happen or were going through something. Obviously I know this is not true and the fact is we live in a fallen world and everyone is either heading towards a hard time, in a hard time, or coming out of a hard time. Sorry that sounds pretty pessimistic but reality is reality. But there is light at the end of the tunnel and the only way to have a true sense of hope, and to get through hard times without feeling crushed, in a hurtful world is in Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior. So I'll cling to Him, my hubs, and my wonderful family and friends as we find ourselves in a hard time right now. If this is a hardship we must go through, I am thankful that it is not much worse. There are so many out there suffering much harder things than what we're going through and for them my heart aches.

If you could just be in prayer for our family. Pray that we continue to heal and not let this event shadow the blessings we have been given and have yet to receive! Pray that we are able to move on and also pray for others that are going through a hardship right now. Pray that they'll rely on God to help them through and if they don't know Him that they will turn to Him to help them pull through.

Encouragement...

Some encouragement for you or someone you know that may being going through a tough time, and you/they just want to call it quit.

On this mysterious pilgrimage we will find that when we do meet difficulties and sorrows, they were not meant to stop us but to form the character required for our great harvest in the coming season. Step into your future, Precious One.

Beth Moore (Stepping Up)

This will give you "God"bumps!

I have no idea why the the first few sentences are so spaced out or how to fix it!  Sorry!

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide 

posted by cindy beall on aug 12 2008 | mentoring

I got a phone call several weeks back from a friend of mine. She was beside herself because she recently learned of her brother’s infidelity in his marriage. Upon hearing the news of her brother, she immediately thought of Chris and me and felt that maybe we could help since we’ve been through the same thing.

She asked if I would consider talking to her family. I spent a good hour on the phone with my friend’s mother since she was obviously distressed about what was going to happen to her baby boy’s marriage. I tried to encourage her as best as I could but the situation was looking bleak. For, you understand, her daughter-in-law wanted to call it quits.

And rightly so. I felt the same thing after learning about Chris’ infidelity. It’s a natural, understandable response to such news.

My friend, her mother and I joined forces in praying for reconciliation. I specifically prayed that if I was to speak with the wife, that she would contact me. Since she had not contacted me in the weeks that followed her husband’s confession, I could only assume she was not interested in hearing what I had to say.

So I kept praying.

Fast forward a few weeks to August 1st.

I learned that the wife, let’s call her Stacy, had decided to visit her family in Texas by way of a one-way ticket. However, in the midst of her desire to remove herself from her marriage, Stacy decided to go to the Beth Moore conference via simulcast at a local church. After searching the internet, she found one about 45 minutes away from where she was staying.

She attended the Friday evening session and was obviously moved to tears. Noticing that Stacy was sitting alone and fully emotional, another lady, Joyce, came up to her. Stacy shared with this stranger all that she was going through and Joyce said, “Please come back tomorrow morning. There is someone I want you to meet.”

Saturday morning dawned and Stacy awoke with a sense of awe and amazement as she traveled back to the church where she met with God the night before. When she arrived, she found Joyce standing with a group of ladies. Noticing her, Joyce pulled her friend Nancy aside and walked toward Stacy.

Stacy began sharing her story with Nancy. After several minutes of sharing, Nancy said, “My daughter went through a similar experience. She lives in Oklahoma, but I know she’d love to talk to you.”

And then Nancy, my mother, took out her phone and Stacy called me.

I…KID…YOU…NOT. 

Folks, Stacy journeyed four states away from her problems, only to find that God would chase her down wherever she went.

If you are running from something that you need to deal with, stop now. Face the music.

The Creator of the universe….

CARES

FOR

YOU.

(Originally posted here.)

After you've read this post, you must read this.

* All I can say is wow!  To think the Creator of the universe would care enough to go to all that trouble for us. I don't feel worthy.....

Why I love Spring....

I love spring time! I decided to catch some of the beauty that is popping up around our home. Not only do I love spring because of the flowers and warmer weather, but also I think, seeing all this wonderful new life come up from beneath the old, dead, browned plants or branches is such a beautiful glimpse into what the Lord can do in your life if you 

choose to walk with him. : )