Now this may not be true with all children but I'm willing to bet it is with most, all they want is to make us happy/proud. We are definitely not against bribes or rewards but I have discovered something that also works well. Absolute, crazy, unrestrained, eye to eye, one on one attention, over the top praise from their mommy or daddy. Case in point: Awhile back I was helping Bella out of the tub, when out of no where she looked up at me and said, "Thank you momma for helping me out of the tub." The hubs and I were so impressed that we went ballistic! We showered her with praise, love, hugs, kisses, and just plain over the topness (yes, I'm making that a word). We told her how proud we were that she used such good manners and that God was so impressed with what a special girl she is turning out to be. Now, just about every time, ever since that encounter, Bella thanks me for helping her out of the tub. We continue to praise her of course, in a more subdued manner, and even throw in a treat or two to celebrate now and then, but Bella takes it upon herself to thank us because she saw how happy it made us.
Bella has this Princess Flashlight that she got recently. If you know my daughter at all, you would know that she absolutely treasures this princess flashlight. The first couple of nights that she had it she insisted on taking it to bed. So needless to say she wasn't very keen on sharing it with her little sister. Bella has really been struggling with sharing and including her sister lately, so we knew this probably wouldn't be any different. And then the other night after dinner, the girls went downstairs to play and I witnessed Bella handing Brynn her beloved flashlight to play with. The hubs and I were in shock! Quickly, I told the hubs, reward her like CRAZY! We, again, showered her with love, kisses, hugs, and praise and told her how proud we are of her. Just the look on her face will warm my heart for life. Now when she shares she likes to come tell me and get a quick hug and a kiss. Now like I said this won't work for all children but most often they're just looking for your approval. Don't immediately jump to bribes or getting them something, try praising them like crazy, let them know how proud you are, and just give them that one on one attention. You may feel silly or look a little foolish but the happiness in your little one's face will make any embarrassment worth it!
2 comments:
This is an awesome idea! I will definitely have to keep it in mind for a few years down the road! :)
So sweet! So true, praise always works with Molly!
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