Yesterday. (Warning: this post involves talk of poop)

Yesterday was one of my hardest days as a mom, maybe ever.

I was up a lot the night before. Brynn woke at 2am having to go to the bathroom and Brooke woke 3 times, for who knows what reason. So needless to say, I started the day tired and cranky to begin with.

One tired momma

(and since I had to stop typing here cause duty called, I have to mention that today too was also a hard day)

plus a really crabby, now, three year old with two other children to attend to, make for a really bad day.

I am in the trenches of potty training with Brynn and it is NOT going well. As of today she has been officially dry for about 3 weeks with only 1 accident. She was so against it at first so we've been putting it off, waiting until she was ready. But with her 3rd birthday approaching we told her we were going to either work on leaving blankie in our room or potty training. She chose potty training. We used the Pull Ups I Go Potty app for my iPhone, she loved it! And Bella would hold the phone, help her push the buttons, and celebrate with her. It was really great and easy and fun for them to do together. Yea, right? Well then comes the business of #2. She literally would hold it all day and save it for bedtime, e-v-e-r-y-n-i-g-h-t. Since she stays dry during nap time and even nights already (Crazy, huh? Guess one advantage of waiting till their older), I decided to put her down with undies on, hoping to prevent her from pooping in them and want to use the potty (biggest mistake EVER). She pooped in them once and then she just stopped pooping all together. After 6 DAYS of not going and complaining about having to go but then refusing to go (in diaper or pull ups or underwear) we finally decided we had to make her go before serious problems arose. After using a you know what in about 45 minutes she PAINFULLY went in a diaper while we "encouraged" her along. So ever since she is of course terrified of going and won't. So for the last week now she pretty much cries at me every 5 minutes to change her but of course she hasn't gone. I ask her if she wants to use the potty, no, ok then go in your diaper, no! I can NOT win. So between Brooke giving me some trouble at night, so therefore not sleeping, and Brynn literally crying at me every 5 minutes I have been at the end of my robe. It is so unnerving to not be able to help her but have her crying for me to do something. I just want to scream!! And with her birthday on Tuesday, which was probably the worst day, it just killed me to be having such a terrible day with her. :(

I just want to be doing right by her and just worry I'm not.

*sigh*